Self-Sabotage: How to Recognize and Overcome It
If you’re not having the type of success that you want, it is possible that you’re experiencing some self-sabotaging behaviors. And, if you are engaging in these types of behaviors then it’s important to identify what you’re doing and turn it around.
* Playing the Waiting Game – If you ever hear yourself say, “I’ll be do that when xyz” then stop it right now. You may have always done this and not realized it. “When I lose weight I’ll go hiking.” “When I finish this client’s work I’ll write the great American novel.” “When I do x then I’ll do y.” It all makes sense but it’s a waiting game that will never end. If you don’t take action now, nothing will happen.
* You Hang Around the Wrong People – Yes, even as an adult you can choose the wrong friends. If you often find yourself at odds with your friends’ values and goals in life, or find yourself apologizing for other people’s behavior, you’re just making excuses to avoid an uncomfortable conclusion. You’ve outgrown your friends.
* Saying: “I’ll never ….” – Fill in the blank about what you’re never say, do or feel. They say you should, “never say never”, and nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is, if you don’t believe you’ll become successful at your business, or lose that extra weight, you likely won’t. You have to envision the success you want to achieve to make it happen. If all you see is negative, that’s all you’ll get.
* I Don’t Want to Do “It” Alone – The fact is we are all ultimately alone. If you wait around for everyone to be on the same page as you, you may miss out on a great new adventure. Whether it’s starting a business, seeing a movie, or trying a new restaurant, you can do it yourself without anyone else doing it with you.
* Thinking You’re Not “Smart” As…. – The truth is, someone is always going to be smarter, prettier, or something more than you. By saying that you’re not something, you will have a hard time breaking out of the box you’ve put yourself in. Forget about who you think you are, and do what it is that you want to do. No need to be perfect.
* You Hide Your Feelings – When someone asks you a question about your feelings, you simply say “I’m fine” and leave it at that – even when you are not fine. Did you know that you can get stuck in a certain mindset if you avoid it and don’t talk about it? That’s true whether it’s about work or something personal. You have to name it to change it.
* My Client Needs Me – The fact is, everyone is replaceable. If you find that you’re working with someone just because you think they need you, even when the relationship is not working for you, you’re really wasting your time. A client who is not compatible with you will drop you the moment they find someone they’re compatible with. Don’t do anyone any favors unless you really just want to.
* You Lack a Support System – Support can come in a variety of forms, from human support to electronic support. If you set up a good system to help you stick to your schedule (whether it’s for work or fun) and get help when you need it, you will be a lot more successful than if you don’t do that.
Finally, being self-aware enough to notice self-sabotaging behavior will go far in helping you curb it. Give some thought to how you’re running your life so that you can kick self-sabotaging behavior to the curb.