Believe it or not, if you’re having trouble finding the success that you desire it probably comes from self-sabotage. There are many reasons why people sabotage themselves and prevent themselves from experiencing success – but instead of focusing on those reasons, how about focusing on getting out of your own way so that you can be successful?
For the next month, take the time to do something different than you usually do. Go over past situations in a different way than you have. Instead of placing blame, figure out what could have been done differently, and make it a point to go that different way if a similar situation should occur again.
Name It and Claim It
If you’re doing self-sabotage behavior it’s important to admit it, and name it. If you don’t admit to having a problem you can’t get to the solution. It’s not because everyone is getting in your way. It’s not the fault of the weather, or your spouse, or your kids. It’s not even because you are sick. It’s because you are letting self-defeating behavior get in the way of your success.
You may need to take some time out for self-reflection to figure out what the self-sabotaging behaviors are. Try looking at each situation that got you to where you are without emotion, mapping them on paper to figure out what your pattern is. Once you identify a pattern, you’ll be able to go to the next step.
Now that you’ve named the type(s) of self-sabotaging behavior, it’s time to replace it with something more healthy. Flip around negative self-talk into positive, respond in positive ways instead of reacting in negative ways. Try doing something new and different over the same old things you’ve always done. They say the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different response. Shake it up; respond differently.
Ask better questions of yourself during each situation. Don’t go back to what’s comfortable to you; push past your comfort zone and come up with new answers to better questions. No one ever succeed in life without taking some risks. Learn to evaluate the risks, and take solid steps toward the answers.
Now that you know how to respond differently, it’s important to practice your responses. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. It’s going to take you that long to replace bad self-sabotage habits with new positive response habits. You may make a few mistakes along the way, but you’ll stop each time, name it, claim it, and replace it.
You may find that you need a little help getting to the point of recognizing self-sabotaging behavior enough to replace it with better ways. If so, you can seek the assistance of a life coach or a counselor to help you recognize when you’re slipping back into old types of behavior. But, more than likely if you choose to go on this path, within one month you’ll be a new person who is out of her own way, accomplishing more than you ever thought possible.